Raising children, we are reminded of this every day. Though, while our children are away at camp, we sometimes forget how much they grow and change while they’re away from us. We expect to receive them home in a similar condition in which they left and, sometimes, that homecoming can be quite overwhelming. The growth and development we have witnessed has been incredible. Year after year we are more surprised than before at witnessing our daughter grow into herself.
Our daughter began at Onaway during the virtual summer of 2020, so she was unsure of how being away from home physically would go. She met the challenge head on as soon as camp was open the following summer and has never once hesitated to go. She has learned who she is, who she wants to be, and what values she expects from her friends back home.
While only in the 8th grade, she has already been inspired to think of her future, going to college and scheming plans to come home to Onaway in her summers. At camp, she is able to thrive, seeking out activities that fulfill her that maybe aren’t available at home or even frowned upon by peers. She is free to explore her interests unapologetically. In 2023 she learned to row for the first time and fell in love. She committed all her time to being on the boat and is now seeking programs here at home, something we never imagined. She has found her voice in singing and theater, propelling her into school band and musicals with pride.
Most importantly, she has learned to navigate the world without us. She has learned how to soften and listen to differing opinions, and how to lift others up while also nurturing her own needs. Our job as parents is to prepare our children to live out in the world without us. Onaway has provided a safe and loving second home for our girls to be brave, take chances, and bloom into their own individual selves while being a part of something bigger than them. For that, we are forever grateful.
The Camp Onaway core values help guide the campers while they are on Newfound Lake, but also serve to help the board in stewardship and decision making. Every meeting of the board of trustees starts with a member offering a reflection centering on one of these values (Self-Discovery, Simplicity, Honor, Spirituality and Love, and Community). Within the core value of Honor are included habits of honesty and integrity. At a recent board meeting, I considered the core Onaway Value of Honor and specifically a habit of honesty, reflecting on how that connected to my Camp Onaway experience.
It occurs to me that “honesty” can be interpreted many ways. I have found myself thinking about honesty with myself- in particular, learning to be humble, accountable, and brave enough to change.
I recently found my journal from 1999, spanning the summer as a 16-year-old OWLE into my first semester at boarding school. This was hilarious but a bit cringey and painful to read. I detailed every day, and was clearly quite honest, as I shared happiness and achievements, but also days where I was down, frustrated, jealous, or tired. At times, I wanted simultaneously to hug this girl and shake her.
I couldn’t think of any better way to share what Onaway means to me and how I grew from camp than to share some snapshots from that summer:
July 14, 1999
“Leadership”
Being in control
Improving situations
Taking charge
Helping others
Good people skills
Knowing what to do
People listen to you/trust you
It’s the first day. I’m finally here at camp. I think it’s going to be a great trip! We’re going to be canoeing, and also sea kayaking, rock climbing…it’ll be awesome. I’m going to try to concentrate on the trip and get the most I can out of it, instead of worry about stuff.
A good leader has to be respected. At my school that means the right group, but it’s different here. We all know and trust each other so it will be ok. I haven’t had all that much experience with leadership, but adults seem to think I do. At home I’m the oldest. I never want to be thought of as “bossy” though. I think leadership is important to help things to get done.
Onaway is gorgeous. I’m sitting in the woods looking at the lake- I think it’s still free swim or writing period, almost evening. I wonder if I’ll be different when I get home. Will this trip or its demands change me? I hope so. I feel more relaxed and peaceful already.
July 23 We’re supposed to be writing about leadership. What can I say? I hated being the leader, at least on resupply. Everybody expected resupply to be a calm, relaxed, luxurious day. We were all looking forward to the van ride, clean clothes, and toilet paper. What we didn’t realize was how much work there was to be done. We had to pack up everything and load the van. We had to get the canoes ready, make trips back and forth, it took a lot longer than we expected. But, once we were off it was ok. You’d think it would be much easier than packing for the first time in the trips room, but it was much harder. If I could do it again, I wouldn’t have everyone so split up. It’s hard to work efficiently when you feel overwhelmed. I like leading people in general. It’s kinda fun being in charge. But when things don’t go as planned, it’s sometimes difficult to remember that it isn’t a one time pass/fail situation. It’s difficult to find a balance between being too bossy and not being in control enough.
Sunday, July 25 Today we left for Acadia. It’s so pretty here! We had planned our hike already, so we went to Jordan Pond, up Penobscot mountain, and through the Bubble Gap. Unfortunately, I fell coming down. My feet slipped, I did a full circle, then I grabbed a tree so I wouldn’t fall. I have a huge scrape on my right arm below my elbow. There’s one really deep part about the size of a dime. Sarah told me she’s not too worried. She’s going to be a doctor, so I trust her judgment. It feels good to be hiking again. It’s a challenge because it’s so hard, and takes a lot out of you, but at the same time it feels so good.
August 9 Today was a great day. We set out to hike Washington, and it was really cloudy. We went really fast up Tuckerman and Lions’ head, and ate lunch near Hermit’s lake. We had a really great pace going but the conditions were terrible and it started hailing. We had a group discussion about whether it was safe and smart to continue. We ended up going on, but then it got really freezing, so we turned back. I think we were all glad. It was good that we made the decision as a group. I can’t believe OWLES is basically over. Tomorrow we go back to camp.
Onaway gave me role models, both senior and contemporary. I saw options for ways that I could be the best me. People I admired, in so many different aspects. Photographers, hikers, comediennes, storytellers. What Onaway gave me was the space and safety to explore my own talents, to “try different things out,” and find my own personal style. I still feel proud that I swam the length of the lake, or went on backpacking my Skytops year. But big goals are made up of small practice, and Onaway shaped me for the little things, how I approach each day, and each challenge. Camp held me accountable to myself, to be honest about my failures and shortcomings, but was also a safety net. It is such a gift to be offered a space to do that where you know you will be held, and given kind feedback, encouragement, and nudged down positive paths. I am so grateful to Onaway.
Ten years ago last March, at my second board meeting, Onaway Trustees spent the weekend in Philadelphia working to define Onaway’s values, thanks to some encouragement from Advancement Director Meredith Funston. Through deep reflection, working as individuals, in small groups, and as a whole, the Board dug deep into what it means to be Onaway. Though the lists were long, trustees were able to identify five values that “carried a herd” of other values within them:
Honor
Simplicity
Community
Self-Discovery
Spirituality/Love
For the past eight years, we have begun each board meeting with a reflection on our values and I am invariably moved by the power of these values to affect our lives and the human beings we are— or strive to be. I love that Onaway values also anchor our work together and believe it is those shared commitments that have made us an effective and downright joyful Board.
It feels appropriate to offer my own reflections at this, my second-to-lastBoard meeting.
I remember as a camper feeling that Onaway was different— better than other camps— because it was focused on bigger things… not just on pursuit of excellence in canoeing and tennis and swimming, but also on our growth as good, thoughtful human beings who were determined to embody Onaway values both at camp and in our daily lives away from camp. We knew these values had been a part of camp from its beginning, passed down from Mrs. Hollister through generations of Onaway girls and women. And we found models in our counselors, aides, and fellow campers.
When in our lives, away from camp, were we asked to think about what we value? When were we asked what it means to be a good person or live a good life? Or to be our best selves? Perhaps in our places of worship, but that didn’t feel personal (to me anyway). Summers at Onaway were the first time I remember being asked to consider big questions: Questions that cause us to rise out of self-interest and focus on something larger than ourselves.
This focus has meant Onaway girls grow to learn what they value so they can confidently contribute to creating a healthy community and world. How many Onaway women have gone on to lives of service? Of leadership? Is it a disproportionate number?
Think of our great leaders. Who are the ones who move our hearts and minds? Clearly the ones who are not about themselves, but who unite us toward a collective good.
I recently watched the first episode of Ken Burns’ Benjamin Franklin. (Perhaps he was influencing our work together at that March meeting in 2014.) You all probably realize that he, like a number of our “fore-parents” created for himself lists of ways he could better himself.
Self-reliance, which Franklin loved (and I would liken to self-discovery), and community may seem like they oppose each other, but Franklin repeatedly said, the good that we can do together surpasses the good that we can do alone. Indeed he had a “Junto,” a team of thoughtful friends who worked together to improve civic life in Philadelphia.
So Onaway provides a “junta,” or people who share values and encourage our individual and collective growth and pursuits…
As older campers, aides, and counselors, we also learned that leadership was not about ourselves, but about finding and growing the gifts in others.
I was at Onaway when the world was only just really opening up to the idea that women had as much to contribute as men. Title IX, the landmark federal civil rights law enacted to prohibit sex-based discrimination in any school that receives federal funding, was not a reality until I had finished my Onaway years.
At Onaway, we found an environment where we could be brave to make mistakes, safe to stretch beyond the capacities we thought we had in pursuit of excellence. We had each other’s backs. This passing week, we will hear the crescendo created by the girls cheering on fellow campers’ successes. And each girl knows that a “pass” means achievement of excellence.
I am unabashedly proud of the way Onaway girls and women encourage and celebrate each other and of Onaway’s importance in the thousands of lives it has nurtured. We are better human beings because of the values at her heart.
I miss my children so much when they are away at camp. The house is so quiet it can feel disconcerting. And while I am happy that it is less messy and disorganized, that also feels a little “off” and I find myself almost missing the sneakers in the middle of the floor or the empty bowls and cups scattered everywhere. I look forward to checking the mailbox each day hoping today will be a “letter day”. With all that being said, there is much to be gained from this opportunity. We know our kids are not only safe and cared for, but are having experiences we could never dream of offering them and they are growing in the most wonderful ways. This time is amazing for our children, so it’s an opportunity to make it amazing for ourselves, the parents, as well.
During the year, especially with after work/school being a hectic amalgamation of shuttling to different activities, it can be hard to get in time for your own exercise. Since camp started I have logged over 10,000 steps each day and I seriously love the buzz when my knock-off “smartwatch” tells me I hit that daily goal. And on these walks, I have seen chipmunks frolicking, squirrels that definitely found their stored nuts—judging by the size of them, and birds of every kind. And sometimes my husband or a friend from work joins me on the walks and I enjoy the opportunity to talk about anything and everything while also getting in some physical activity. I have cooked more thoughtful meals – I haven’t made spaghetti or frozen chicken nuggets once! My husband and I eat dinner together listening to a record on the record player, we play cards or board games, just the two of us, and we’ve caught up on movies like Oppenheimer that we don’t get an opportunity to watch when the kids are home (the length, the fact we only have one TV, and a myriad of other reasons always seem to get in the way). I may even—*gasp*—finally start reading the two books that have been on my nightstand for three months, but for some reason, I could never seem to focus on while the kids were home (if you’re interested, it’s “We Should Not Be Friends” by Will Schwalbe and “Benjamin Franklin” by Walter Isaacson).
And it’s okay if you don’t have an old hobby or interest to fall back on – now is an excellent time to discover a new one! How cool will your kids think it is if they come home, having learned some new skills of their own, and discover that you are now into ceramics or have a new garden or have crocheted a new blanket for their beds? And the other bonus is that you’ll have plenty of things to write to them about. So get out there and catch up with friends, get back into old hobbies, or discover new ones, and, if you have a partner, spend time reestablishing yourselves and your relationship when it is not centered around your kids. You gave your kids the gift of Onaway to help them discover their best selves, be active, and have fun. Knowing your child is in good hands, take this opportunity to do the same. Now is a good time to give yourself the gift of “self-care.”
The first week of summer camp always includes a few (or many) moments of missing home, unfortunately known as “homesickness.” It’s not a sickness or illness! It’s totally healthy and natural to miss one’s home, family, and friends. In most cases, it’s brief moments of sadness in the rare downtime of the otherwise very busy and fun day. If your child writes home expressing sad feelings, missing home, the dog, or their friends, here are some wonderful words of wisdom you can write back to them to help them understand the feelings and immerse themselves in all the adventures and new friends at camp. They will build coping skills, confidence, and will have a fun-filled summer of growth. Read More…..https://sunshine-parenting.com/10-messages-for-a-homesick-camper/
In the summer of 2023, Onaway welcomed Mr. Dave Finnell as the new Property Manager. “Mr. Dave” grew up northeast of Atlanta, Georgia where his family still lives today. He started his professional career as an electrician in Atlanta. Growing up, Dave was a boy scout who loved hiking. In 1996, he decided to hike the Appalachian Trail (a north to south through-hiker!). New Hampshire was his favorite state on the trail, so after completing the AT, he decided to move to New Hampshire and become a carpenter. Dave was a self-employed builder in the Newfound area for fifteen years before joining the staff at Onaway.
In his free time, Dave likes to paddle board, rock climb, hike, ice fish, snowboard, and enjoy all the wonderful views from these different vantage points.
When asked about his first summer at Onaway, Dave replied, “I’ll admit my first summer was challenging but very fun. It was exciting to see the enthusiastic spirit of camp as well as the bright and cheerful faces of campers and staff every day. I was also impressed with the responsibility and discipline and overall character everyone exhibited.” Dave added that, after working alone during the pandemic, it was a lot of fun to have social interaction everyday with such a great group of people. Mr. Dave is now spending the off-season months getting camp ready for summer 2024. A few of his many off-season projects are improvements to Woodworking, Gateway, and Owls Nest. If anyone finds themselves in the area this spring, please stop by camp for a visit and say hi to Mr. Dave!
