Raising children, we are reminded of this every day. Though, while our children are away at camp, we sometimes forget how much they grow and change while they’re away from us. We expect to receive them home in a similar condition in which they left and, sometimes, that homecoming can be quite overwhelming. The growth and development we have witnessed has been incredible. Year after year we are more surprised than before at witnessing our daughter grow into herself.
Our daughter began at Onaway during the virtual summer of 2020, so she was unsure of how being away from home physically would go. She met the challenge head on as soon as camp was open the following summer and has never once hesitated to go. She has learned who she is, who she wants to be, and what values she expects from her friends back home.
While only in the 8th grade, she has already been inspired to think of her future, going to college and scheming plans to come home to Onaway in her summers. At camp, she is able to thrive, seeking out activities that fulfill her that maybe aren’t available at home or even frowned upon by peers. She is free to explore her interests unapologetically. In 2023 she learned to row for the first time and fell in love. She committed all her time to being on the boat and is now seeking programs here at home, something we never imagined. She has found her voice in singing and theater, propelling her into school band and musicals with pride.
Most importantly, she has learned to navigate the world without us. She has learned how to soften and listen to differing opinions, and how to lift others up while also nurturing her own needs. Our job as parents is to prepare our children to live out in the world without us. Onaway has provided a safe and loving second home for our girls to be brave, take chances, and bloom into their own individual selves while being a part of something bigger than them. For that, we are forever grateful.
The Camp Onaway core values help guide the campers while they are on Newfound Lake, but also serve to help the board in stewardship and decision making. Every meeting of the board of trustees starts with a member offering a reflection centering on one of these values (Self-Discovery, Simplicity, Honor, Spirituality and Love, and Community). Within the core value of Honor are included habits of honesty and integrity. At a recent board meeting, I considered the core Onaway Value of Honor and specifically a habit of honesty, reflecting on how that connected to my Camp Onaway experience.
It occurs to me that “honesty” can be interpreted many ways. I have found myself thinking about honesty with myself- in particular, learning to be humble, accountable, and brave enough to change.
I recently found my journal from 1999, spanning the summer as a 16-year-old OWLE into my first semester at boarding school. This was hilarious but a bit cringey and painful to read. I detailed every day, and was clearly quite honest, as I shared happiness and achievements, but also days where I was down, frustrated, jealous, or tired. At times, I wanted simultaneously to hug this girl and shake her.
I couldn’t think of any better way to share what Onaway means to me and how I grew from camp than to share some snapshots from that summer:
July 14, 1999
“Leadership”
Being in control
Improving situations
Taking charge
Helping others
Good people skills
Knowing what to do
People listen to you/trust you
It’s the first day. I’m finally here at camp. I think it’s going to be a great trip! We’re going to be canoeing, and also sea kayaking, rock climbing…it’ll be awesome. I’m going to try to concentrate on the trip and get the most I can out of it, instead of worry about stuff.
A good leader has to be respected. At my school that means the right group, but it’s different here. We all know and trust each other so it will be ok. I haven’t had all that much experience with leadership, but adults seem to think I do. At home I’m the oldest. I never want to be thought of as “bossy” though. I think leadership is important to help things to get done.
Onaway is gorgeous. I’m sitting in the woods looking at the lake- I think it’s still free swim or writing period, almost evening. I wonder if I’ll be different when I get home. Will this trip or its demands change me? I hope so. I feel more relaxed and peaceful already.
July 23 We’re supposed to be writing about leadership. What can I say? I hated being the leader, at least on resupply. Everybody expected resupply to be a calm, relaxed, luxurious day. We were all looking forward to the van ride, clean clothes, and toilet paper. What we didn’t realize was how much work there was to be done. We had to pack up everything and load the van. We had to get the canoes ready, make trips back and forth, it took a lot longer than we expected. But, once we were off it was ok. You’d think it would be much easier than packing for the first time in the trips room, but it was much harder. If I could do it again, I wouldn’t have everyone so split up. It’s hard to work efficiently when you feel overwhelmed. I like leading people in general. It’s kinda fun being in charge. But when things don’t go as planned, it’s sometimes difficult to remember that it isn’t a one time pass/fail situation. It’s difficult to find a balance between being too bossy and not being in control enough.
Sunday, July 25 Today we left for Acadia. It’s so pretty here! We had planned our hike already, so we went to Jordan Pond, up Penobscot mountain, and through the Bubble Gap. Unfortunately, I fell coming down. My feet slipped, I did a full circle, then I grabbed a tree so I wouldn’t fall. I have a huge scrape on my right arm below my elbow. There’s one really deep part about the size of a dime. Sarah told me she’s not too worried. She’s going to be a doctor, so I trust her judgment. It feels good to be hiking again. It’s a challenge because it’s so hard, and takes a lot out of you, but at the same time it feels so good.
August 9 Today was a great day. We set out to hike Washington, and it was really cloudy. We went really fast up Tuckerman and Lions’ head, and ate lunch near Hermit’s lake. We had a really great pace going but the conditions were terrible and it started hailing. We had a group discussion about whether it was safe and smart to continue. We ended up going on, but then it got really freezing, so we turned back. I think we were all glad. It was good that we made the decision as a group. I can’t believe OWLES is basically over. Tomorrow we go back to camp.
Onaway gave me role models, both senior and contemporary. I saw options for ways that I could be the best me. People I admired, in so many different aspects. Photographers, hikers, comediennes, storytellers. What Onaway gave me was the space and safety to explore my own talents, to “try different things out,” and find my own personal style. I still feel proud that I swam the length of the lake, or went on backpacking my Skytops year. But big goals are made up of small practice, and Onaway shaped me for the little things, how I approach each day, and each challenge. Camp held me accountable to myself, to be honest about my failures and shortcomings, but was also a safety net. It is such a gift to be offered a space to do that where you know you will be held, and given kind feedback, encouragement, and nudged down positive paths. I am so grateful to Onaway.
Ten years ago last March, at my second board meeting, Onaway Trustees spent the weekend in Philadelphia working to define Onaway’s values, thanks to some encouragement from Advancement Director Meredith Funston. Through deep reflection, working as individuals, in small groups, and as a whole, the Board dug deep into what it means to be Onaway. Though the lists were long, trustees were able to identify five values that “carried a herd” of other values within them:
Honor
Simplicity
Community
Self-Discovery
Spirituality/Love
For the past eight years, we have begun each board meeting with a reflection on our values and I am invariably moved by the power of these values to affect our lives and the human beings we are— or strive to be. I love that Onaway values also anchor our work together and believe it is those shared commitments that have made us an effective and downright joyful Board.
It feels appropriate to offer my own reflections at this, my second-to-lastBoard meeting.
I remember as a camper feeling that Onaway was different— better than other camps— because it was focused on bigger things… not just on pursuit of excellence in canoeing and tennis and swimming, but also on our growth as good, thoughtful human beings who were determined to embody Onaway values both at camp and in our daily lives away from camp. We knew these values had been a part of camp from its beginning, passed down from Mrs. Hollister through generations of Onaway girls and women. And we found models in our counselors, aides, and fellow campers.
When in our lives, away from camp, were we asked to think about what we value? When were we asked what it means to be a good person or live a good life? Or to be our best selves? Perhaps in our places of worship, but that didn’t feel personal (to me anyway). Summers at Onaway were the first time I remember being asked to consider big questions: Questions that cause us to rise out of self-interest and focus on something larger than ourselves.
This focus has meant Onaway girls grow to learn what they value so they can confidently contribute to creating a healthy community and world. How many Onaway women have gone on to lives of service? Of leadership? Is it a disproportionate number?
Think of our great leaders. Who are the ones who move our hearts and minds? Clearly the ones who are not about themselves, but who unite us toward a collective good.
I recently watched the first episode of Ken Burns’ Benjamin Franklin. (Perhaps he was influencing our work together at that March meeting in 2014.) You all probably realize that he, like a number of our “fore-parents” created for himself lists of ways he could better himself.
Self-reliance, which Franklin loved (and I would liken to self-discovery), and community may seem like they oppose each other, but Franklin repeatedly said, the good that we can do together surpasses the good that we can do alone. Indeed he had a “Junto,” a team of thoughtful friends who worked together to improve civic life in Philadelphia.
So Onaway provides a “junta,” or people who share values and encourage our individual and collective growth and pursuits…
As older campers, aides, and counselors, we also learned that leadership was not about ourselves, but about finding and growing the gifts in others.
I was at Onaway when the world was only just really opening up to the idea that women had as much to contribute as men. Title IX, the landmark federal civil rights law enacted to prohibit sex-based discrimination in any school that receives federal funding, was not a reality until I had finished my Onaway years.
At Onaway, we found an environment where we could be brave to make mistakes, safe to stretch beyond the capacities we thought we had in pursuit of excellence. We had each other’s backs. This passing week, we will hear the crescendo created by the girls cheering on fellow campers’ successes. And each girl knows that a “pass” means achievement of excellence.
I am unabashedly proud of the way Onaway girls and women encourage and celebrate each other and of Onaway’s importance in the thousands of lives it has nurtured. We are better human beings because of the values at her heart.
I miss my children so much when they are away at camp. The house is so quiet it can feel disconcerting. And while I am happy that it is less messy and disorganized, that also feels a little “off” and I find myself almost missing the sneakers in the middle of the floor or the empty bowls and cups scattered everywhere. I look forward to checking the mailbox each day hoping today will be a “letter day”. With all that being said, there is much to be gained from this opportunity. We know our kids are not only safe and cared for, but are having experiences we could never dream of offering them and they are growing in the most wonderful ways. This time is amazing for our children, so it’s an opportunity to make it amazing for ourselves, the parents, as well.
During the year, especially with after work/school being a hectic amalgamation of shuttling to different activities, it can be hard to get in time for your own exercise. Since camp started I have logged over 10,000 steps each day and I seriously love the buzz when my knock-off “smartwatch” tells me I hit that daily goal. And on these walks, I have seen chipmunks frolicking, squirrels that definitely found their stored nuts—judging by the size of them, and birds of every kind. And sometimes my husband or a friend from work joins me on the walks and I enjoy the opportunity to talk about anything and everything while also getting in some physical activity. I have cooked more thoughtful meals – I haven’t made spaghetti or frozen chicken nuggets once! My husband and I eat dinner together listening to a record on the record player, we play cards or board games, just the two of us, and we’ve caught up on movies like Oppenheimer that we don’t get an opportunity to watch when the kids are home (the length, the fact we only have one TV, and a myriad of other reasons always seem to get in the way). I may even—*gasp*—finally start reading the two books that have been on my nightstand for three months, but for some reason, I could never seem to focus on while the kids were home (if you’re interested, it’s “We Should Not Be Friends” by Will Schwalbe and “Benjamin Franklin” by Walter Isaacson).
And it’s okay if you don’t have an old hobby or interest to fall back on – now is an excellent time to discover a new one! How cool will your kids think it is if they come home, having learned some new skills of their own, and discover that you are now into ceramics or have a new garden or have crocheted a new blanket for their beds? And the other bonus is that you’ll have plenty of things to write to them about. So get out there and catch up with friends, get back into old hobbies, or discover new ones, and, if you have a partner, spend time reestablishing yourselves and your relationship when it is not centered around your kids. You gave your kids the gift of Onaway to help them discover their best selves, be active, and have fun. Knowing your child is in good hands, take this opportunity to do the same. Now is a good time to give yourself the gift of “self-care.”
The first week of summer camp always includes a few (or many) moments of missing home, unfortunately known as “homesickness.” It’s not a sickness or illness! It’s totally healthy and natural to miss one’s home, family, and friends. In most cases, it’s brief moments of sadness in the rare downtime of the otherwise very busy and fun day. If your child writes home expressing sad feelings, missing home, the dog, or their friends, here are some wonderful words of wisdom you can write back to them to help them understand the feelings and immerse themselves in all the adventures and new friends at camp. They will build coping skills, confidence, and will have a fun-filled summer of growth. Read More…..https://sunshine-parenting.com/10-messages-for-a-homesick-camper/
In the summer of 2023, Onaway welcomed Mr. Dave Finnell as the new Property Manager. “Mr. Dave” grew up northeast of Atlanta, Georgia where his family still lives today. He started his professional career as an electrician in Atlanta. Growing up, Dave was a boy scout who loved hiking. In 1996, he decided to hike the Appalachian Trail (a north to south through-hiker!). New Hampshire was his favorite state on the trail, so after completing the AT, he decided to move to New Hampshire and become a carpenter. Dave was a self-employed builder in the Newfound area for fifteen years before joining the staff at Onaway.
In his free time, Dave likes to paddle board, rock climb, hike, ice fish, snowboard, and enjoy all the wonderful views from these different vantage points.
When asked about his first summer at Onaway, Dave replied, “I’ll admit my first summer was challenging but very fun. It was exciting to see the enthusiastic spirit of camp as well as the bright and cheerful faces of campers and staff every day. I was also impressed with the responsibility and discipline and overall character everyone exhibited.” Dave added that, after working alone during the pandemic, it was a lot of fun to have social interaction everyday with such a great group of people. Mr. Dave is now spending the off-season months getting camp ready for summer 2024. A few of his many off-season projects are improvements to Woodworking, Gateway, and Owls Nest. If anyone finds themselves in the area this spring, please stop by camp for a visit and say hi to Mr. Dave!
I grew up in a small country called Zimbabwe. A country approximately 7600 miles away from here. Never in my young life did I ever imagine leaving home and raising a family in a foreign land. I had a wonderful childhood and I was fortunate to have many opportunities and I had the love and support of many people around me. I had my community of friends, church, schoolmates and family, and I had a strong sense of belonging. Now fast forward to years later, I found myself a parent to a young girl in a foreign land here in the United States, and I wanted my daughter to have the same experiences and sense of belonging just as I had when growing up, but, being an immigrant with no family and very little guidance, I was challenged and could not do it by myself!
A friend told me about Onaway, and I decided to give it a shot. Honestly, I took my chances because I had no idea what Onaway was really about. However, I quickly realized that I had made the right choice. Maita at first was reluctant but with every summer she came back and she thrived. It took her 3 summers to move from “minnows” in swimming. It was at Onaway that she found out that she had a passion for singing and acting, and she took classical music in high school. She took boating, canoeing, and the first summer she made a candle holder which I proudly show off to everyone who visits our home. There were some challenging summers as well where she almost came home, but in all this, she was supported either by adults or friends around her and came home a better person. While Maita is no longer a camper, she has made strong friendships and her love for camp is deep! This summer Maita did not return as a counselor however she was very concerned and curious to know if opening day went well and even offered to help if needed. When it comes to Onaway, I have seen a sense of responsibility and care that I have not seen in her for other things. You see that’s the spirit of Onaway, that sense of belonging, you can’t explain it but you feel it.
One of Onaway’s values is COMMUNITY which states …. COMMUNITY: Guided by tradition and through a spirit of belonging, love, and independence, Onaway encourages cooperation, compromise, awareness of others, and development of individual strengths, all of which build community.
I did not go to Onaway and cannot relate to a lot of camp traditions, however as a parent I am happy that Onaway provided that community for my daughter to thrive, be herself and develop into the confident young woman that she is today. I am on the board today because of her, and my hope is that Onaway will continue to be that special place where everyone feels they belong.
April 2023
By Kendra Demopoulos (mom to Lizzie-Birches, Ally-Skytops and Aide Cate) and Alison Quinan (mom to Onaway alums: counselors Misses Emmy, Sarah, and Aide Jocelyn)
Dear Fellow Onaway Families,
Hello and Welcome (or Welcome Back) to Camp!
As we roll into spring and the warmer weather, thoughts turn to summer and getting ready for camp and with that, the packing list! We know it can be a little overwhelming at first glance and as two moms who attended camp in the ‘80s and ‘90s and have each sent 3 girls to camp over the last 10 years, we thought a little explanation/expansion might be helpful. While the official packing list is quite comprehensive for the necessities of day-to-day camp life, there are a few items that might need a little more explanation and a few items our daughters always add to their lists.
Let’s start with the dress-up clothes for Sundays. This does not mean formal wear and it does not mean bringing along your full Elsa costume. Sunday evening supper is typically a casual picnic and each cabin group picks a fun theme for their outfits. Girls create costumes to fit the theme from items they have or they can borrow from each other – our girls have found that their best option is to bring a small assortment of solid colored items (t-shirts in assorted solid rainbow colors, bandanas, shorts, even a random tutu left over from spirit week!) that they can mix and match to fit their needs. Definitely don’t go crazy with this as cabin space is limited!
Next, a suggestion for the laundry bag: The cotton ones on Amazon came with backpack/shoulder straps and they tell me it made life a lot easier when it came time to haul the full bag down the hill for weekly laundry pickup! Don’t forget to personalize it!
The emery board/nail clippers are on the list to help the girls prep their nails for daily nails inspection. Our girls preferred a small nail kit that included cuticle tools in addition to nail clippers and a nail file.
Our girls learned the hard way how important it is that their raincoats and hiking shoes/boots are truly waterproof. And make sure to break in those hiking shoes/boots (or pack plenty of moleskin).
Beyond the items on the packing list, here are some items our girls found helpful to include:
Thumb tacks
Masking tape or duct tape
Extra Sharpie pen(s)
Self-stick envelopes + stamps (humidity can stick the lick-em kind shut). If you prefer stationary without the self-stick option, we recommend a small plastic container or Ziploc bag for the envelopes to keep the humidity out
Swim goggles (if your child typically uses them to swim)
Box of tissues (the square, boutique size fit best on the bedside table)
Toothbrush case/cover – always a bummer to accidentally drop a toothbrush in the dirt/pine needles on the way to the sink!
A few small cabin decorations: photos of family/friends, a favorite stuffed animal, small artwork
Waterproof sandals/shoes for canoe or sailing trips
Lastly, while it’s a pain in the neck, don’t forget to put names on EVERYTHING! You can even use a Sharpie to put a name on the shampoo bottle in case it gets left in the shower house by mistake. A Sharpie or a clothing stamp makes putting names on the many pairs of socks and underwear much easier. For dark clothing, iron-on name tapes work well.
The good news is many of the items on the packing list can be purchased for the first summer and then used for years to come so it gets easier! The cabins are tiny, so don’t bring lots of stuff because it only makes it harder to keep the cabin clean for inspection. Simple living is one of Onaway’s greatest life lessons.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out to either of us if you have any questions – about the packing list or anything else!
April 2023
By Lydia Romano Barhight (Alumna, Trustee)
The other day, I was sitting on the pool deck during my five-year-old daughter’s swim lesson. Within a couple minutes, I started to feel antsy and pulled out my phone. The options are endless- shall I find a new recipe to try? Peruse photos of my friends’ travels and families? I could select which yoga class to take later, play a word game, see who is texting me…and so on. It took too long for me to hear my daughter calling “Mommy! Mommy!”—she wanted me to see a new skill she had accomplished, and I had missed it. I made a concerted effort to put my phone away for the rest of the lesson and be more present.
I know I’m not alone- many of us enjoy Pinterest sessions, online shopping, making playlists, reading the news, or using apps for audiobooks, for example. All of these tools can be wonderful, letting us learn and connect. Many schools are teaching the basics of programming with coding classes, teaching important skills for the future. However, technology being omnipresent in our lives can also take a toll. Now that we essentially have access to most information we could want, right in our pockets and purses, the temptation to be checking keeps us all looking down and missing connections around us. Finding time to unplug can have great benefits.
One of the unique aspects of a Camp Onaway summer is the opportunity to detangle and unplug all of our cords. Below are some of the possible benefits of a tech-free summer, and some ways that unplugging supports Camp Onaway values.
1. Community
Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who is staring at their phone? It can be distracting and even hurtful, because it can seem as though someone cares more about their notifications than what you are saying. It is difficult to attend to what is happening around you if you are looking down at a device. You can miss social cues (both verbal and nonverbal). Unplugging lets us make eye contact, connect, respond appropriately, and give another person our full attention. When we attend to one another, we build respect, love, admiration, and connection, which builds our community.
2. Self-Discovery
One of the greatest gifts of a Camp Onaway summer is the chance to try new things. Going out of our comfort zones and testing our limits is uncomfortable, but it is also how we grow. Sometimes, it is hard to try something new if you feel as though others are watching and maybe judging. Social media often focuses on how we “show” what we are doing. Taking a break from social media gives campers a chance to hit the pause button on “showing” and instead just sink in and appreciate what is happening right now, around people they trust. It takes away the pressure to document, record, and post. It takes away the worry of seeing how others will respond with “likes” and lets us focus on feeling validated by our own accomplishments, or from the support of friends and mentors around us in person. More of our energy and mental focus can be spent on the present moment.
3. Simplicity
Unplugging allows us to focus on minimalism. It is no secret that advertisers and marketers target kids and teens. Social media is full of “influencers” who are given free goods in exchange for discussing them, sampling them, and reporting back to their wider audience. This can make kids and teens feel pressured to purchase items, have the “right” clothes, and to generally keep consuming. At camp, we learn to make do with what we have in our trunks, and relax with the effortless uniform. We learn that we need much less than we think we do. We share and borrow from friends, further enhancing community. Of course, the appropriate gear for our activities keep us warm, dry, and safe, but we do not need a closet full of shoes or the latest serum. We can find beauty and peace in nature, with the calls of loons and the smell of pine needles. This is all easier to enjoy without the advertising bombardment from social media.
Unplugging also has many health benefits. Studies have linked social media use to problematic sleep, including less total sleep time, disrupted sleep (waking during the night), and delayed sleep (going to bed later; you can read more here or here). Social media use can increase feelings of sadness, loneliness, missing out, or anxiety (you can find more information here from the Child Mind Institute). Even children and adolescents are starting to present with symptoms of “Text Neck” or “Tech Neck,” which refers to pain associated with poor posture and looking down for long periods of time.
In summary, technology has many benefits, and it is unlikely that any of us would stop using our devices, or cancel all of our social media accounts, completely. However, the opportunity to put down the phones, close the apps, and cease the scrolling can give us health benefits, let us be present and mindful, and build real social connection with our Camp community.
The Onaway Board of Trustees moves around the country for two of its three meetings annually. Every summer we hold our meeting at Camp so that we can observe all the programs in action and learn from the camp community. This spring, for the first time, the board meeting was held in Colorado where a few of our trustees live. The staff and trustees gathered in Evergreen, CO on Friday, March 31 for a weekend full of meetings and a dinner with the local alumnae.
Our full agenda always includes a careful analysis of our budget and finances. Onaway continues to be among the most affordable sleep-away camps, and we are committed to providing financial assistance to the best of our ability. The Onaway Fund is key to this commitment and to hiring excellent staff and providing quality programs and activities and healthy meals. At the spring meeting, trustees personalized the director’s Onaway Fund letters to encourage philanthropic support from our alumnae and families. We take time to do this because we simply couldn’t run camp effectively with our Onaway Fund supporters!
We also review the state of our facilities. This spring we saw pictures of all the great work Mr. Gene is managing at camp including the construction progress at Off-Away and Woodland Hall. We are excited for the girls to enjoy the new Arts & Crafts and Ceramics rooms, the spaceous Ping Pong Piazza, and the expanded stage inside our beautiful Woodland Hall with the new Stage Craft area beneath it. These much needed improvements are the result of trustees, staff, donors, and volunteers committing tremendous time, talent, and treasure to the WIDE AWAKE Capital Campaign. There was much gratitude in the air at this spring meeting!
Onaway staff and trustees must always be learning about issues that impact girls and women today. We had open-hearted conversations about gender identity and the challenge of being true to our Onaway mission while supporting campers in becoming their true and best selves. These are sensitive conversations calling for everyone’s commitment to learn, listen, research, and speak one’s mind and heart. And we are fortunate to have subject experts among us, as well as strong, respectful leadership, allowing the group to “meet the challenges of today’s world with honesty, sensitivity, and courage.”
Saturday evening we enjoyed a gathering with alumnae from the greater Denver area. Director Barrie Pendergast gave an update about camp, we managed to sing grace in a round, and shared a delicious dinner with lots of stories and laughs. It is wonderful for trustees to meet former campers and counselors as well as the alums to meet the trustees and staff. It’s always fun to reconnect and network with other Onaway people. When an Onaway Board of Trustees meeting is held in a location near you, please try to join us for the social gathering so we can keep our Onaway community connected!
